I've realized that while I've been waiting around for the "big" story to happen, so that I can blog about it, all the little stuff has started to fall by the wayside... and the little stuff adds up to be big eventually. It's like running into someone whom you haven't seen in years and they ask, "What's new?" Uh... well... everything? If you haven't been in touch or updating on a regular basis, you literally have nothing to say to this such person. Lately, this way of thinking started reaching over into my photography as well. I've found photos I haven't shared for one reason or another. Maybe there wasn't a story, or they felt too random. But part of my love of taking pictures is the beauty in the simplicity of capturing a "real" moment that doesn't have to be big. And I don't want to deny the joy I get out of sharing those moments with others. So no more waiting because, really, life is just a bunch of this n thats and odds n ends, and this shouldn't keep me from having something to say or photos to share.
Change has been my constant companion for quite a while now. Sounds funny, I know. Change... constant? But it's true. While some people fear Change, I've grown to rely on it. It encourages me to get out of any comfort zones I put up around me so I can continue to grow and learn and see how amazing this adventure of life can be if I'm open to it. It's not always that comfortable and makes me face my truth a lot, but tough love is still love, and I've learned to love Change back. The first part of this year consisted of waves of personal changes, again, that now have me sitting mid-year with about as much uncertainty as certainty about my future. But this is okay, because while still facing change, I know the uncertainties will slip away soon enough.
A big decision based on changes was to put my wonderful dog, Kai, up for adoption. Now for those of you who have met Kai personally, or have followed him on my social media, you know what a special guy he is. He was a rescue to begin with and I really had no idea what a lovable, crazy goofball he was going to be. Kai the catahoula, or "hooligan," or "goober," or "doodles"... he's all of them and more. He's been a bit of a wildcard since day one, but the choice for his rehoming is based on my own issues, not his. I've read plenty of Facebook posts about how people have kept their dogs through college and break-ups and pregnancies and you-name-its. The shaming is out there. However, I'm realistic enough about life to know that if it really was that easy, there wouldn't be so much need for shelters or rescues or pet adoption groups. People are far from perfect and life is far from ideal. Not all relationships, including those with our animal companions, are meant to be forever. And it's never an easy decision to make when things have to end. Despite having the need for a regular meal, a roof over his head, and a snuggle occasionally, Kai is a wild and independent soul. I'm not the only one who can love him and provide for him. I've had to let that control go, knowing that his new forever family is out there looking for him right now. And we'll be grateful to them when they show up. In the mean time, we'll enjoy each others company until we must part ways. He, and I, will be just fine. We both have a lot of adventure ahead of us.
While not a lot is scheduled into my future based on the uncertainty I talked about, I do have a couple up-and-comings to share. Late in August I will be heading to Missoula, MT to attend photo school. This has been something I've wanted to do for a couple years now, and this just seemed like the year to go for it. While I don't have a bucket list, this could qualify as a bucket list item. I found the Rocky Mountain School of Photography in a Missoula visitors guide I picked up on a trip to visit my friend, Tanya, in Seeley Lake in 2013. They have some amazing classes and programs and I'm excited to immerse myself in a week of learning macro photography; a style I love. I'm also looking forward to catching up with my good friend in her beautiful part of the world while I'm down there. Stay tuned, I promise to share this experience.
In October, I will have my work featured in the Arts on 3 Gallery in Christina Lake. While a few months ahead still, I am starting to curate and prepare for it now. This is a first for me and I'm excited and honoured to have this opportunity. It will be interesting to see what photos I choose and how I will deal with my own inner critic, because we all have one. But the ability to share and create something beautiful outweighs any fears and doubts I could possibly come across. I have been writing positive affirmations on Post-It notes as reminders for myself this year. I'll just put up a few more, dive into this task, and see what happens! More sharing ahead.
For those of you who continue to stick by me and my changes and the ups and the downs, thank you. Truly. I'm finding that the more truth one has to face, the harder it becomes to hide. And hiding behind a false-front is too much work. We're only here to live our lives for ourselves, and perhaps help or inspire or teach something to others who may need it along the way. All those Post-It affirmations I have are because someone shared something I needed to hear. Hopefully I can pay it forward in some way.
So, here's to enjoying the rest of the summer, with certainty or uncertainty ahead. Things are going to happen one way or another. And I'll be back, telling my stories when they do!